Just Take a Breath

“He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.””

Psalms 46:10 NIV

Dear Connor! 

The advice you gave was very practical. . . I will say, college is literally the easiest time in the world to make friends. Never again will people be just as scared, just as confused, and have no idea what is going on as when you are first starting out in college. You are right, there is so much needless pressure and we tend to over complicate things so much. I was a Resident Assistant throughout college and the thing that taught me almost more than anything else, was, everyone is just as, if not more scared than you are. None of us have this whole life thing figured out, especially not during the first few weeks of college. 

A phrase that I am pretty sure you have heard me say many a time before is the phrase ’take a breath, its’ not that deep.’ I can’t believe the amount of things in life that I have found myself thinking that applies too. Such as. . . 

The start of relationships. So many people are so scared to be the one to start a conversation. The anxiety is the primary thing that they fear. There is so much worry, when in reality, the majority of the time, you just need to breath, and go talk to that person anyway. 

Major tests. Every exam season it feels like the world is ending. Or at least I felt that way for the first couple of years of college. Exams, final papers, it felt like my entire world was collapsing, when all I needed to do, was just take a breath, and do my work. 

Those relationships you are so worried about. Between a significant other, girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever, it sometimes can start to feel like someone else is dominating your entire thought life. When in reality, you are already the most loved you will ever be. All you need to do, is just breath, and trust in God. 

Time and time again, I find myself needing to remind myself of that. I kinda hoped that as I became an adult that it would get better. But. . . As of now Connor, it hasn’t. I feel bad sometimes for you because I tend to be the absolute worst when it comes to taking my own advice. I do not handle change, stress very well. I tend to have, as you would know, a just do it attitude, when I think I should have a ‘breathe’ first attitude. Because sometimes even just a few moments of quiet reflection, of prayer, of trust that God has you, is all it takes. That was all that was ever needed. 

I think it is something God promises time and time again. He doesn’t need you to have your whole future figured out RIGHT NOW! All God needs from you, from me, from all of us, is to just take the only time we ever live (RIGHT NOW) pray, be still, and just breathe. 

Signed, Shay.

——

Sorry this got out late Friend, 4 timezones, 3 countries, and landing somewhere that doesn’t have WiFi made my task rather difficult. . . It was written on time tho! And it was posted on time, just not uploaded I guess. . .

Most people are just as scared as you, they want to talk to you too, make the first move

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

Joshua 1:9 ESV

Hey There, Shay,

I do remember that story! Immediately when you mentioned the English class it took me back to the very morning and conversation we were having, if we were in Kryszco right now, I could point out the seat we were sitting in just before that class. You nailed it perfectly about not giving up, and I couldn't imagine were we both would be right now if we had gone through that. As you mentioned about College is a race, it got me thinking about the other challenges and hurdles that are apart of races and this came to mind.

Most People are just as scared as you

The first few months-probably actual the first few weeks-seem to be the most stressful for some folks. This has to do with meeting a bunch of new people, and trying to find new friends. To an extent, I feel incredibly lucky for my start to college (you'll understand why I say lucky rather than missed out). I got to skip orientation. Now, you probably are like "Wait what? Isn't this chapter what it's all about and how you meet people." Why yes, it is about that, but there oddly is so much pressure during this time frame, and even into the first few weeks of the semester, where you feel like you need to meet your lifelong college friends. Shay, you can attest, the friends we had in the first year of college, are not our current friends right now. Let me digress.

Since there is a lot of pressure during this time, this ends up turning into a quite scary thing, trying to have literally the same conversation, across a ton of freshman;

"Hey my name is Connor, what are you majoring in?"

"Hey Connor, my name is John, I'm majoring in Biology, what about you?"

"I'm also majoring in biology, what do you wanna do?"

"I think I would like to go to medical school, what do you wanna do?"….

This entire dialogue is probably repeated at most colleges, on the first few days of classes. Some mindsets to help:

1. The people you meet during the first few weeks of college, will (probably) not be your lifelong friends, or friends until the end of college - and this is okay!

2. Don't reinvent yourself just to make new friends. Just be yourself

   1. I tried this, I became someone I did not really like and it almost costed my faith.

3.  Remember that Jesus is working in these conversations.

Overall, everyone is in the same boat as you, they are scared too, they also want to meet people and chat, so be the first person and make the move! You don't even need to talk about schools or majors, most of the time it's an easy one to start because it gets the conversation going beyond majors, etc. Talking about sports, or even the class you are both in currently are great topics. Remember, it's easy to be caught up in the details of wanting and feeling the pressure that you need to find your life-long friends, try and relax a bit because that will come.

With Love,

CJL

It’s not okay to give up

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith".

Hebrews 12:1-2 NIV. 

Howdy Connor!

Last week you were talking about the long dusty road of faith. About how Jesus is sitting there by the campfire waiting. It made me think of a different long dusty road that we found ourselves on once. I am not sure if you will remember this or not. So let me set the stage a little bit for you. It is Freshman year of college. You were taking an English class and not doing too hot. My new job wasn’t working out the way I had wanted it to. Things were really freaking rocky with our friend group. I was taking 18 credits and was miserable. You were miserable in your classes, and we were sitting outside of the dining hall, when an idea was pitched.   

“What if we just left?”

I think the plan was to move to Moab Utah at the time. To abandon everything behind and just leave it for (Moab) Utah. Leave college behind, abandon it all, and give up. It seemed like such a clean solution at the time. Just drop out of college and let it be how it was. Live the simple life and while leaving this complicated mess behind. It was like such a good idea at the time. 

Looking back on it now. 

I think that would have been one of the worst mistakes of our entire lives. I truly don’t think we could have messed up more badly than if we had just left that day. We tried to give up. I’ve thought a lot about what would have been lost if we had actually decided to give up that day. I don’t know about you? But I would have missed out on nearly everything that I consider the most important to me right now. 

College is incredibly hard to deal with. Emotions are always seeming to run high. It is one of the very few times that you are surrounded by people in mostly the same stage of life as you. It can so often feel like your entire world is crumbling down around you in just a few moments. That it would be easier to just give up. But its not okay to just give up. The right thing to do is just keep going. Because I can almost guarantee that whatever is on the other side of the hill is so much better. 

Do not judge the mountains by their valleys, or maybe a better analogy would be judging the desert while in the shadow of its dunes. College is, I think, in every sense of the word a race. Races are hard, and I think it important as Christians to remember that skills, talents, and experience that you gain in college are not for your benefit alone. They are meant to be benefits for your faith and the communities that you will one day live in. All of that goes away, all of the people that should have one day counted on you go away when you give up. So keep going!

• Your Friend, Shay Krueger

Pray Continually

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”

Philippians 4:6 (ESV)

Dear Shay,

We have had very extensive conversations over the years. Faith, like you had said, being a touchy subject. Another one of those subjects we have talked a lot about is prayer. At the beginning of my college career, I had only really experienced the Lutheran church and only really knowing "THE" prayer. Our father, who art in heaven… Beyond that, I didn't really pray to God, or Jesus. After becoming more involved in the college ministries, and learning more about the personal relationship that I could have with Jesus, that's when my  prayers changed.

Over the years I have changed how I've prayed, the types of prayer and even the amount of prayer. When I first started to pray in this new mode, I had this illustration to help me fixate on the moment. Other folks typically call this "entering the throne room", I call this "Sitting by the fire with Jesus".

You are on a long winding, dusty road. Looking forward, all you see is nothing but continuation with no end in sight, you look backwards, and see the same long dusty road you just traveled. As you continue down this road, up ahead you see a flickering light, and a silhouette. As you get closer you notice that someone is sitting at a fire alongside this road. As you get to the fire, he invites you in, you take off your pack and sit at the fire. Suddenly, everything goes quiet, the wind is no longer whirling, and it is just you, the crackling and popping of the fire, and this man. You strike up conversation, the voice seems familiar; warm, soft, and gentle. After a while, you realize you are sitting with Jesus. You continue conversing, and after the time has passed you pick up your pack and continue your journey, on the long and winding road.

This illustration helped me connect with Jesus on a daily basis. I usually try and start my day with prayer, in the same spot, and with this illustration. This was my vision of the throne room. A close feeling for me that helped bridge the gap between meeting with Jesus. Which often times can be very daunting, in whatever season you are in, just after committing sinful behavior that you promised to never do again, or even after a long time going without prayer. No matter the scenario, Jesus wants to sit with you and commune. Whether your vision is sitting in the throne room, by a fire, or in a comfy place that is familiar to you, just pray. It does not have to be eloquent with scholarly words, it just needs to be intentional.

With Love,

CJL

Your Heart is Still Beating

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”

Psalms 139:13 & 14. NIV. 

Howdy Connor! 

I hope this finds you well! I have been thinking about a lot of the conversations we have had over our years in college. I think we both can agree it's why this page exists in the first place! Faith throughout college is such a touchy topic isn't it? I know for me I had grown up at the exact same church my entire life, I knew the names of every single person in the kids club, youth group, and most of the congregation (it wasn't a very large church :), so it was always a very safe place to be. Then I hit college, I was suddenly 100 miles away from home, and the floor vanished out underneath my feet. The safety net that I had lived with my entire life vanished instantly, and I suddenly needed to start asking myself a question that I had barely bothered to ask. 

Am I a Christian? 

I still remember it very vividly, it was my first free Sunday on campus. I woke up early that morning and thought to myself "I have no idea what I am doing? I have no idea who I am? I have no idea what I want my major to be?" I was running through an endless number of big questions. "Would I be able to find friends? Would I be able to do everything I wanted to be able to do?" I remember leaving early that Sunday morning and just wandering. Not to go anywhere, but just to wander. The questions kept spiralling deeper and deeper in my mind. I had no idea where I was supposed to be going, or who I was supposed to be? As I was walking I realized where I had ended up, I was standing outside the door of a church that was within walking distance to my campus. 

Because that is all it took. At that moment I realized something very important. My heart was still beating. I was worrying about big questions. I was worrying about everything else that was going on. But at this moment, I just need to just be. I needed to just understand that value comes from the one who made me, who knew me before I was. Who knit my very heart itself together. Life isn't lived at any other time other than right now. College can be a really scary place, it presents with a lot of new challenges. But no matter how bad it ever got, God kept my heart beating. He never left me behind. 

No matter what had happened, it didn’t matter how badly I did on a specific test. It didn’t matter how much I panicked and crammed trying to complete an entire paper the night before it was due. College isn’t where my that as still true value or strength was found. Because strength, courage, hope, it doesn’t come from the things that we can give. It comes from the God who strengthened your heart, who breathed life into your very being. Who sustains you in the palm of your hand, even now. Because isn’t that the profound mystery of it all, that through it all, God never left us behind, even when it feels like school is so overwhelming, God is right there through it with you too. 

I think one of the biggest mistakes I make continually is looking to the future like that is gonna solve all of my issues? That someday, when I finish college, everything will be alright. That everything will just suddenly start making sense someday in the future. To the point that I ignore what is happening right now. I ignore the present moment. I ignore that right now is the only moment I really get to live in. I think to myself again and again ‘this is to insignificant’ or ‘this isn’t important’ so I don’t need to pray about it. But I was and I am wrong. Because God cares. God cares right now. 

Nothing is too small to go and to God in prayer about. Nothing is too insignificant to take a moment and thank God for. So next time when the college is feeling overwhelming, take a moment, pause, and just pray.   

Farewell! Safe Travels.

-Shay Krueger.  

Finding your Faith in College.

Howdy Connor. I hope this postcard finds you well!

I am excited to write to you again. It has been too long.

Hope all is well!

First letter should be sent out on the 15th!

-Shay